On Preparation for Winter

Tonight, I cooked a soup. I've been doing this lately, cooking soup. I sit at home, watch seinfeld on tv, and I cook soup. Right now the episode is on in which Elaine reveals to Jerry that she 'faked' every orgasm she ever had with him. I love this episode. Incidentally, the woman who plays the role of Dr. Cuddy on the television show House MD, and who also has, on occasion, kissed my co-worker on the mouth, makes an appearance in this episode. It's a great episode.

The soup, though. The soup is excellent. It's full of things that could make a man smile and a woman blush; potatoes, corn, bacon, and a man's love. I'm making it for the second time around, and going for broke at the market, I picked up 8oz of slab bacon instead of the thinly cut variety. I've never cooked this type of bacon before, and I can say, now, that is the finest bacon that i have come to know. Everything from cooking, to eating, to even cutting it into neat little cubes, nears perfection. The quintessential question of adolescent males is often asked of such unique and perfect foods, "would you rather give up 'blank' or blow jobs... forever!". In the case of slab bacon, I'm afraid i would have to permanently bow out on oral sex. this is no slight on you, CA. The bacon is just very, very good. I'm not sure, however, that the soup is so good as the bacon alone, though i doubt that many soups are on par with blow jobs.

The point of the soup--only the second soup i've attempted this season--is to hone my survival skills for the upcoming winter. As the time change came into affect this past Saturday, and the light that had already started waning earlier and earlier in the day, jumped by a whole hour's mark, I found myself almost fearful of the terrible winter ahead. Fall, revered by all New Yorkers, had, for me, the acrid taste of negative temperatures and pallor. So I've been working. I've been preparing. As far back as summer i began my preparation; I bought a North Face parka for half-price online while staying with my parents in San Diego. A week or two ago, I bought a new pair of waterproof work-boots and wool socks. Work books, by the way, have become my religion. They have been, over the course of the past year, the most revelatory discovery of my adult life. Boots have changed my life on the east coast more than extra thin condoms, stone ground mustard, and domestic beer. Needless to say, boots are something that have come out of the dark to show me the light. Last winter they were my savior, and this year I've upped the ante. So i got new goddamn boots and a parka and some socks for outerwear, and for the soul and state-of-mind I have soup. Soup, being the only food I want to eat when temperatures dip below the thirties, it is natural to run some field tests before combat. Additionally, running the stove for hours and hours at a time warms the apartment, which in my case; the case of having roommates who ran a tv cable through your bedroom window, preventing it from ever shutting properly, is a very valuable feature.