Wet Cappuccino: On Fools and Possible Ambassodors

Human beings are strange creatures. This is evident.

Today I made lattes. Making lattes is extremely stressful. On average it takes about a minute to make a latte. This is a long time to wait for a coffee drink. Just imagine if three people ordered before you; imagine if nine people did. So there are times when people are forced to wait. They sit and they read, or they gripe, or they do both or neither, and they wait. This is a terrible thing when making lattes. People are loud, opinionated, and impatient creatures. After nearly a month of working at a coffee shop, this, also, is evident.

People are strange for myriad reasons. However, here, I only wish to speak of perception and the illusion of preference.

Undoubtedly, people want. Undoubtedly, also, people think they know what they want, what they don't want, and the differences in between. This is not the case. People are foolish. They rely on things like 'benefit of the doubt,' and blind trust. As I've said they are strange creatures.

Today a man ordered a wet cappuccino. This is simply a normal cappuccino with a little less form or 'texture.' As he ordered, he expressed, "I want it wet, but not 'latte wet." The difference between cappuccino milk and latte milk is just the amount of foam. More for a cappuccino and less for a latte. Less foam equals wet, more foam equals dry. This is what has become of my life and my limited mental resources. So he specified that his drink be "wet, but not 'latte wet.'" After receiving the man's order and waiting for him to be out of ear-shot, I sent the order to my co-worker, "12oz. latte for here, please."

The drink was made and as it came up i called out, "12oz wet cap, but not latte wet." The man came up and got his coffee drink. "How's that drink," I asked. "It's perfect," he said.

At this point, there are several things that need to be accounted for. First, it is very possible that the person making drinks heard the man's order and decided to ignore my own. This is almost definitely not the case. The person making drinks has (a) what seems to be premature hearing loss, and (b) asked me to repeat the drink order, having forgotten it. Second, the person making drinks could easily have made the drink exactly to his specifications by accident, perhaps adding too much texture to what she thought was a latte. This could easily have happened. However, I am incline to believe that neither was the case.

The simple fact of the matter is that the man received a latte. He asked for a wet cappuccino, and he received a latte. the reason i am able to assert this with little hesitation is that the difference between the two drinks is marginal to the point that said margin is difficult to create and even more difficult to distinguish. I know this because making the distinction between wet cappuccinos and lattes is my job (I am aware of what i have become). To draw an analogue, it would be as if one was presented with the color blue-green, after asking for the color blue with a just a little green, but not 'blue-green.' There is probably a difference between those two colors and the difference is probably difficult to appreciate.

The point of all this non-sense is that people are strange creatures. A man walks into a store and asks for something that is difficult to make and implies that his taste for that thing has been refined to an incredible point. This is fair. There is nothing wrong with wanting something and asking for it. However, there is something wrong with asking for something, receiving something else, and not knowing that what you received is not what you had asked for. When I asked the man, "how is your drink?" I would have liked for him to tell me, "it's wetter than i would have liked." Whatever followed from there would be cake. I would gift wrap a new drink myself; i would refund the cost; I would even clean up the mess after he smashed his ceramic cup in a fit of rage. All of those things would be welcome because they would prove to me that people are capable of asking for what they want, and more importantly, knowing what they want. Yes, it is possible that this man was simply an ambassador of good will and understanding, and was able to say to himself, "yes, this cappuccino is too wet, but as an ambassador to wet cappuccino drinkers everywhere, I will bite my tongue and give this kid a fucking break." This is possible. Yet, I do not believe that that was the case. I believe that this man was unable to tell the difference. I believe that because of my intuitions. I believe that because the factors that would lead this man to think that he was getting exactly what he wanted were vast. I believe that because of Gestalt. I believe that because Anthony Bourdain is a fucking joker.

This sort of thing happens to me all the time. Sometimes I win subtle victories and give people something that they did not ask for, tell them that it is what they asked for, and they cannot tell the difference. These victories are invaluable. Other times, I fail and call out the drink that was made and not the drink that was ordered; then I am forced to remake the same drink. These moments are difficult.